Towering Tall

It is common knowledge, I guess, but occasionally it just hits me how much of our lives are influenced by perception. Meaning the way we see ourselves and others, and how we are seen by others. Humans are visual animals; even how we choose our words is confirming this: We build us a picture of someone or something, or we take a point of view.

So looking from where I was standing, at a height of 5.38 with a fat bum and beige hair it was quite natural for me to think that my back then teenage goddaughter was one of the most gorgeous human beings on the world. This girl features a height of a about 6 feet, has the curves in all the right places, and soft brown curls with a golden glow. How could I think differently? And thus I tried to push her towards my image of her when we went out shopping for clothes.

When she then told me that she was far from happy about those features I was rather shocked and asked her to write her story.

PS: Ulli that is me - My birth name is Ulrike which during my school days always got abbreviated to Ulli. As this is the short form for the male Ulrich as well I never realy like it. Moving into a new life at university I became Rika, however stayed Ulli for my friends from the olden days.

BEING TALL

By Jorina Schlanke (2007)

Last spring I visited my godmother Ulli in England.

When we were on the way to the supermarket we came across a problem about which she hadn’t thought yet, and we thought that this was something for her website 'Incredible Ladies'.

The time went on and we forgot about this chat. But today when I called her we descended to this topic again and she suggested that I should write about me and my little problem (which is in fact almost solved by now).

So, here I am: Jori, 17 years old, from a small town in southern Germany. I am 180 cm tall which has been my problem for a very long time.

Nobody in my class is as tall as I am. My best friends are all very short and even most of the boys don’t reach my height.

At the beginning it were my friends who made the issue worse than it really is. They complained about having to look up when they wanted to look into my eyes. I can and always could understand them, but I couldn’t help them, because I had the converse problem: I had to look down and I felt as strange as they did.

If we wanted to hug each other it sometimes just looked ridiculous. But of course I wanted to hug them for they are my best friends and needless to say everyone does it.

The reason Ulli never realised that this really can be a problem is that she never was in my situation and therefore thought like everyone else – so many people want to be tall and thin, like a model. And that is really strange: So many women would give up everything to have my body, and I have it and don’t want it! It would be smarter to accept what you are. The best example for that is my friend Judith.

I came to know Judith this summer holidays. She is a really funny girl, is very self confident – and 150 cm short. When I told her that I hate being so tall she said: “Yeah, you’re right. Being small is great, I love it.”

From that I learned - Everybody should have this attitude. Everybody should love ones body as it is, because there is no reason why we shouldn’t.

Who defines which size is the best? We can’t change what we are, so we have to accept what we are, there is no other way. Moaning doesn’t help, and the earlier we are starting to accept our body, the earlier we are starting not only to feel good with it, but also to be really happy with it.

These days I just don’t take these things personal anymore. If somebody has a problem with my height it’s theirs not mine.

Eventually I’m feeling good about myself.

Anaconda

The Anaconda is one of the largest snakes in the world. Native to the tropical South America its habitat is the water; however, it also has the quite unappreciated habit of preying on land animals visiting the shore line for a drink. It kills by wrapping around the poor sod choking it to death before swallowing it in one piece...

I met the Anaconda in April 2010 via email and it turned out that she is quite a specimen of her kind. Her name is Rachel, which is a rather sweet name for somebody who likes to choke other people in combat. She surely likes the water, although this is more the sight of her bike racing passion rather then her hunting ground, and she doesn’t live in South America but North of Britain.

So now that it is established that she is female, I should mention that she seems to be a very rooted person. Having lived in other parts of the country enjoying the years of education and first workplace, she is now back in her homeland in the North East to settle with husband and offspring, a little boy. This however is as far as it goes with the image of a calm and settled family woman. Never underestimate the Anaconda!

Whatever she does, she does it full power, whether it is the job or her hobbies – which mainly consist of sport. And see, that is where I came into the game. This woman has always been active, but now that she had quit the job to enjoy the family life for a while, sport has become a little bit of an obsession... well, some might even go as far to call her a bit of a nutcase. Due to aforementioned activities this lady always featured a quite substantial rear and the matching thighs, which showed a tendency to growth as soon as she increased her sportive endeavours, and when she stumbled across my website the thought of getting in touch for a bit of compassion and reassurance cropped into her mind.

For me those email exchanges were a fascinating reassurance of my own. This strong and powerful woman had so similar doubts to mine, for no good reason. How often did I fret about my shape, not believing my dear and supporting husband that he loved me for exactly this big rear? Oh well, my website was not just about bottoms, but looking back there is no doubt: The bottom started it. Sometimes I just wasn’t sure if I might be a bit bonkers to wrap a whole website around my insecurities, which on the other hand I had overcome as a consequence. And now this woman dropped into my life telling me that apparently I did not go entirely wrong in my points of view, and that what had worked for me was working for her as well. How wonderful! Oh we were sisters in spirit quite instantly.

Once it was settled that the fretting was not worth the effort, she really kicked off. The woman embraced what genes and hard work had given her and submerged in charity bike rides, training camps of all sorts, the gym and most of all: Jiu Jitsu!

Being a brown belt she already knew her ways, and with her newly found confidence she grappled her way through a series of tournaments, won her team the favourite training slot in a fierce battle against a strong male, and secured the Redcar Summer Cup for herself. Nobody escapes the Anaconda’s grip, once those legs take hold.

The Anaconda found her home, and the circle is closing! All this energy and passion, all this joy for life and the appreciation of freedom that a strong and healthy body can give are now channelled into encouraging others.

This July Facebook saw a new group called "I've got big strong legs and I'm proud" which as of today (4th October 2010) has accumulated 75 members. Reading through the comments it becomes clear: For those women the age of ‘Does my bum look fat in this?’ is over. These women embrace their stature as a signal of strength and confidence, and the Anaconda is showing the way!